5 Reasons Why Jeff D is NOT a Manly Man

Jeff D, a coworker of mine at NextStudent (yes, this is a blatant plug for my company in hopes of garnering traffic. Feel free to click on the link several hundred times in order to win me big points with my boss!) recently wrote an article on What it Means to Be a Man. Though well written, I disagree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with the article! Not with his so-called "manly characterizations" but with the fact that Jeff D actually HAS any of these characterizations and therefore actually IS by his definition a "manly man"! I am so strongly opposed to this claim that I felt the need to write a post of my own proving him wrong. So, with no further ado, please let me present:

Five Reasons Why Jeff D is NOT in fact a Manly Man!

Reason Number One:
Need I say more?? This was not Halloween and as such, orange tuxes and top hats are NOT supposed to be a part of the manly man's wardrobe! To 99.9% of you, this is probably all the proof you need that Jeff is in fact NOT a manly man. However, as I have 4 other pieces of proof, I will continue.

Reason Number Two:
Jeff claims that manly men ONLY eat meat! Though I haven't witnessed it myself, I have been told by an unnamed but very reliable source that the Cranberry Pecan Chicken Salad at our local Wendy's is the meal of choice for Jeff whenever they frequent the place. Granted, chicken IS a meat of sorts however when surrounded by nuts and berries, it tends to lose it's "manly man" appeal!

Reason Number Three:
Jeff claims that to be a true "manly man", "there are only two fluids men can drink - beer and their own urine after drinking beer." (First of all, eewwwww!) Now, Jeff may drink beer in front of his friends, girlfriends, and other manly men, but I found this candid shot of him taken during his last vacation to Miami Beach which shows him enjoying something that is pink, frothy and definitely NOT a beer. True, I don't know for sure that the glass doesn't contain his own urine, however IF that's the case, Jeff has much bigger problems than just his masculinity and should go see a doctor as soon as possible! (P.S. Reason Number 3.1 that Jeff is not a "manly man" - note the pink umbrella pinned to his shirt! Manly Men DO NOT use pink umbrellas as fashion accessories!) (P.S.S. The fact that he actually WENT to Miami Beach is reason number 3.2 that Jeff is NOT a "manly man"!)

Reason Number Four:
While standing around the water cooler the other day (alright, so we weren't actually standing around the water cooler but that's where social conversations are supposed to occur within the work place and I thought it a great visualization to reinforce my point!) Jeff made the following quote in response to a conversation we were having regarding stupid fashions that people wear - "Pink is my signature color" (fyi - quote was said in a southern and distinctly feminine voice). Because it happens to be one of my favorite chic flicks, I knew that this was a quote made by Shelby, the character played by Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias. Now granted, the quote was said in jest and meant to be funny so the words themselves are not the issue. Jeff is in fact NOT a "manly man" because he actually KNEW the famous words! And, as Jeff claims, manly "men are not allowed to watch any show on the WB, Lifetime, TLC or Oxygen or any movie with Julia Roberts!"

Reason Number Five:
Last but certainly not least, Jeff is NOT in fact a "manly man" because of the car he drives! In his blog post, Jeff lists 10 vehicle types that manly men are not allowed to drive. As you can see from the photo on the left - Jeff is true to this and does not drive any of these 10 cars. However, I'm pretty sure (and feel free to disagree if you would like) that "manly men" do NOT drive cars that have been painted pink, no matter what the model! And if THAT wasn't proof enough for you, how many "manly men" do YOU know that don't change their own tires??

Though I think that Jeff is great guy and wonderful to work with, I simply couldn't allow him to lie to the public in such a way! I truly hope that by offering undeniable proof that Jeff is NOT in fact the "manly man" that he claims to be, he will learn his lesson and refrain from spreading falsehoods in the future!

DISCLAIMER: All of the information contained herein is completely bogus! All of the photos and claims were fabricated and done purely for fun in order to try and "take Jeff down a notch." Hopefully Jeff will have a sense of humor about this and not do anything truly evil to me in retaliation! To help me avoid this, please feel free to visit Jeff's Blog: I Am Better Than You and tell him what a great guy he is!